Dear Diary,
Pressure…it’s something I’ve become well aquatinted with over the last few years and something I can’t seem to get a handle on.
Women have been told that we should be able to do it all…be a good homemaker, have a full time job, take care of everyone around us…and do it all with a smile.
It’s no secret anymore that the pressure to do and have it all leads to women feeling overwhelmed and inadequate.
However, while this seems to be common knowledge, it feels like no viable solutions have been offered to us.
The only solutions we’ve been given are to slow down, simplify our lives and be easy on ourselves. We’ve been told the answer is to set boundaries and put ourselves first.
I’ve tried it all, but have been left feeling even worse every time.
Sure, I end up getting more free time or more time for self care, but then I spend that time overthinking my decision and feeling guilty.
I’ve always thought there was something wrong with me for thinking that way, but I’m starting to wonder if maybe all the boundaries and slowing down is the problem.
Maybe the idleness inherent in these alleged solutions leads to feeling disconnected and purposeless.
Maybe life is not meant to be simple or slow.
Maybe the secret to overcoming the overwhelming pressure is will...
Maybe finding and cultivating my willingness is the answer.
It sounds easy, but has proven to be
more difficult than I would like to admit.
Over the last few days, I’ve tried to be more selfless and more willing, but I’ve caught myself complaining and idling more times than I’d like to count.
It’s highlighted a weakness within me that I can no longer ignore.
I need to shift my mindset from having
to get things done to getting the chance
to do them.
I need to start embracing my
ever-growing to-do list.
I want to start showing up ready, as
my best self, instead of always fighting whatever is on my plate.
I’m lucky to have such a full plate,
so I need to start acting like I’m lucky rather than like I’m being punished.